Good Grief!

While I don’t think about dying, I know it will happen.  It happened all too early to my Mom, which probably put death in perspective for me.  I miss her always, but I don’t “grieve” for her, or “mourn” her death.  I simply accept that it happened, and I couldn’t have changed anything.  Even though I was very young, I knew she was sick and I know I helped her as much as I could.  When I was told she had died, it hit me, but I wasn’t devastated…. I was angry.

To my children and friends, I ask you to remember me in death just as you do in life.  Remember my love of music and sports.  Hopefully, the station will live on after I’m gone as my musical legacy.  Even if the station goes quiet, I will live on in my children, as they are becoming aware how much of me lives in them now.

I don’t want my kids to celebrate my death, but I don’t want it to interrupt their lives any longer than it has to.  While my mom has been gone for over 50 years, she holds a place in my heart that I will take with me when I die.  Think of me as I do her.  I remember her good times and bad, but I prefer to dwell on the good times.

Don’t get me wrong, I do NOT think death is fair.  I observed my best friend deal with the death of his wife, and I honestly felt pain when he did.  She had a zest for life and was  a good person.  She didn’t deserve to die before her time, and once again I got angry.  When my friend “Tom from Garfield Heights” passed away, I was truly sad.  But it angered me that I didn’t know him longer, because I think we would have been great friends.  He kept in touch with me as he lost his battle with cancer and while I know he wasn’t afraid to die, I also know he wasn’t ready to leave his wife and kids behind.  He was a strong man, who fought his disease with honor and dignity.  He lost his battle, but went on his terms.  I was so touched to hear that one of my shows was playing in the background when he passed, surrounded by his family.

I intend to be cremated.  I hope to find little jukeboxes so my kids can all have some of my ashes.  I’d like a portion scattered over my Mom’s grave, and of course I want the rest of me to be in a “side by side” urn with my wife eventually.  During the ceremony, please don’t feel like you have to rush to get it over.  Please convey your honest feelings with the people that show up.  Don’t feel bad for me, and above all, don’t feel bad for yourself.

Be assured that my love for my friends and family is and always has been, genuine.  When you hear a certain familiar phrase or see something that reminds you of me, don’t be sad… remembering is a good thing!





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